RAVES FROM LULU`S
Well of course I’m pissed. Yes I’ve had few martinis but I mean that I’m really angry.
Why? Because “they” have lied to us. Talking young people, they tell me that there is no point in worrying about safe sex. There is no such thing anyway --- we are all bound to get HIV in the end so why bother at all. It’s a lot of stress worrying about it so get it over with and all the stress goes away. I put down the trump card --- sickness. Nah, HIV is manageable. It won’t kill you these days. Well, it might but not for a long time! And who wants to live to get old?
These are the people that the kind and dedicated health professionals admit to me are out there. But there is a slight twist. They talk about them (off the record of course) as a willful (even wicked) small group who are fully aware of all the latest information about HIV and the other STDs and yet they knowingly chose destructive behavior. They go on to suggest that a very small minority are so tweaked on crystal (or any substance which happens to be flavor of the month) that they don’t really make choices at all.
Don’t we know that this is just not accurate? Why are so many sensible and together people putting themselves at risk and getting sick? Certainly not because they have all the information. A CDC outlined plan for "information dispersal" may be in place but it don’t mean that the word is getting out there. More significantly, they have inherited a situation founded on lies. So much so that the unspoken ethos is: why should we believe you and why should we even think about it? And heaven forbid we should actually talk about it.
I am not asking you to go back all that far to the time when “they” told us that all sex required the seal (not of approval --- latex). Any contact had to be behind latex or in emergency circumstances maybe saran wrap. If you wanted oral contact, dental dams were advised but instructions were offered on how to safely transform a condom into a sheet, if you were taken short. I wonder how many people followed those instructions or even used condoms for a blow job. We now know that it didn’t matter much (if at all). But the consequences of stigmatizing a range of sexual expression, and demonizing those who continued to express themselves so, was to push them into the category of what the right wing have always wanted --- wicked and perverse indulgers in a “lifestyle” choice which is unhealthy and anti social. The legacy is that there is no need even to talk about it. What hope is there for incorporating the condom (if not eroticizing it) as an expression of loving concern for one’s partner? “They” need to work hard to get back there credibility so that we believe their motives are more than keeping the Federal funds flowing.
I want US to take back the truth and TALK ABOUT IT even if it offends them. Even if they call it pornography. It’s about sexuality, it’s about passion, it’s about life. It is now --- not in the next projection, not in the next grant cycle, not when the research results are published.
Did I say that we are in midst of a Pandemic?.
Had you forgotten?
In response delicious pancake said...
So - let me tell you my vignette. I am a straight man, not in a relationship.
I went to meet with friends in San Francisco, preparing for BURNING MAN. I met a really cool chick attorney. We started to fool around and we got to the point where condom use was pertinent.
"I'm on the Pill - we don't need that .... and I don't have anything."
"I never have sex without a condom."
"Well, I guess we are not going to have sex then"
She gets up, and leaves.
I made the right decision. But, she will be at BURNING MAN at the same camp. Why should I be the one who feels shitty?